How Are You Doing? Busy!
When you ask someone “How are you doing?” we often respond, “Oh, good, but busy.” We often speak as if it were a badge of honor. “Yes, very important, very busy.“
The definition of busy is “actively engaged or occupied.” But when someone says, “oh just busy lately,” that’s not what they mean. We almost never mean there has been a lot of focus or productivity. What we often mean is that our time and attention are focused on something to the exclusion of others.
It means, “I’ve had to exclude things from my life” or “I can’t fit it all in.” Probably things I didn’t want to leave out, but I couldn’t find a way to let them in. I haven’t been able to make the time or give attention to what is actually important to me. “Busy” means that despite effort and planning, and against my will, something I value is still missing from my life. I may not know what it is. It may just be a sense of rush or being out of control, but I know that things are not as they should be. Even though I have tried, I just can’t seem to change that.
What seems like a practical problem and manifests itself as, “it is hard to find time to pray,” is actually much more than that. We feel like if we could just make the time, then we could pray. But this issue has deep roots. There is more than just a lack of time or a practical need to plan.
Please Shut the Door
If I’m working and I ask, “Please shut the door, because I’m busy.” It means I have to focus; I can’t do other things. Some complexity may require my full attention, or perhaps time is scarce and I need the efficiency that comes from eliminating distractions.
A shut door is a choice to ignore what might be on the other side—even if it is good or important. Other people might need something, but right now I have to focus. There are legitimate reasons to shut a door, but living a busy life means the door stays shut. The problem is when this becomes our default mode of living.
If I can’t even fit in all my own priorities, there’s not much room for other people and their imposing desires. It’s easy to exclude others with their demands or needs because busy pretends to be purpose. The rush of it all makes it feel meaningful and important. The constant barrage of my own busyness may feel more important than anything else, or even make me desperate.
Chronic busyness becomes a self-centered prison, where I don’t even have time to stop and see that I’ve become trapped. It is an isolating bubble that excludes anyone, even God. Busy becomes a slavery that makes us turn inward, leaving us frustrated and bitter. You know this experience if you have ever snapped at someone or been snapped at because some minor inconvenience dared to make demands and contradict the hurry and rush of busyness.
More, the Hidden Addiction
We might live with the perpetual feeling like we can’t fit the important things into life. We go from one seemingly urgent thing to another in an attempt to make this go away. There’s never enough time. That’s when busy turns into hurry.
Going faster on the hamster wheel doesn’t get you off the hamster wheel. You just go faster.
How many things would you have to check off your list to not be busy anymore? Actually think about that. What would it take to catch up? And if you did, would you no longer be busy?
This isn’t just a desire for more time. We feel the need for “more.” More money, accomplishment, progress, success, personal growth, health, stuff… How much “more” is enough?
We set goals and feverishly strive to accomplish them, but as soon as we do, we don’t even take a moment to recognize the achievement. We’ve already set a new goal and are on to the next thing. It was never really about the goal. It was really never about efficiency or getting things done.
We get more and more of everything except happiness. Does our rushed, frantic pursuit of “more” ever give the joy and peace it promises?
Busy is a continual, compulsive engagement in activity that only appears rewarding, but actually has adverse consequences. This is the literal definition of addiction. Read that again. Our society is addicted to “busy,” to hurry, to “more.” None of us are immune. We’re all recovering addicts or if not, just addicts in denial.
It’s even complete with withdrawal symptoms. If we DO try to slow down? How many of us feel agitated or not at ease, like we need to be doing something?
This kind of meaningless speed isn’t sustainable, so we break, we snap. We find some kind of necessary escape. It may even lead to serious sin. Constant indulgence in amusement and entertainment shows something is off. We do need rest and relaxation, but binging and excess is not compatible with Christianity.
The Solution?
We are not going to fix being busy by better time management tools. The problem isn’t due to a disordered schedule, but our disordered heart.
We live by disordered priorities, instead—seek FIRST the Kingdom. Jesus first, PERIOD.
Realize what the problem is. Live life consciously, aware. Using a tool like the Ignatian Examen can be very helpful.
Don’t seek more—seek gratitude.
Learn when to keep the door open for others and when it should be shut to focus on what is truly important. “When you pray, go into a private room, close the door.” Mt 6:6
Live according to God’s values and priorities, not the priorities of the world, flesh, or devil.
